Foolish....or am I?

Have you ever missed someone so much it hurts? Yet, you are so angry that you feel foolish for feeling this way? I guess I'm the fool right now. I'm mad, I'm upset, and I'm angry, hurt, all of the above and so that makes me feel foolish or silly, or ridiculous because I feel all these things and miss them all at the same time. Why do we go through such crazy emotions all the time and at different times. I do really good for awhile I keep things in and don't show anyone my emotion, and then I break down. Poor Aaron he had to listen to me cry and try to understand how and what I feel when at times I don't even understand.
The other night I went to the Relief Society Christmas gathering at the church. I wasn't going to go, but my sweet sister insisted I go. So, she won. I sat through the darn thing and cried the whole time, even in the line waiting to get treats, I was still crying. I had to laugh at myself though cause I thought it was kind of funny. Oh, if we cant laugh at ourselves what good are we? I was hit left and right by the spirit, especially the last speaker when she was talking about forgiveness and about giving our burdens, concerns, heart breaks all of it to our Heavenly Father so that we don't have to carry it all alone. If we just reach out and release our burdens to him that he will be there. I find myself hoarding my troubles. I don't release them to him nearly often enough. I need to do this. I need to be able to let things go, to let him take over and help me more. I cant do it all, and that's why we have a Father in Heaven to help us. I need to practice forgiveness. Its hard. I don't want to feel this way, but its hard. Everyday I pray that Heavenly father will take away what I'm feeling so that I will be able to forgive. I pray for that, I will continue to pray for that, but something tells me I will also be feeling pretty foolish for awhile too.