Simple...

I read a blog religiously. I continue to be inspired by her on so many levels. First off I can completely relate to her. We are both LDS, we both have four children, married, come from large families...etc...except her life is so much different from mine....now.
I started reading her blog because I heard of her story, then I went back to her beginning and started reading from there and have continued, I also read her sister's especially during a period of time when she couldn't blog, her sister was her voice.
I have often read both blogs, and have been moved to tears. I have wondered if I were in her position, who would be my voice? Who would continue on with my legacy for my children?
Her sisters and family stepped in at a very difficult and tragic time and picked up pieces and took care of everything, including four precious little children for her. Some already had kids of their own, others were pregnant or just had a brand new baby, but stepped up and took over because she couldn't make a decision for herself, nor her husband.
She is now blogging for herself, but her posts are much different. Now she is different....what was once of importance, isn't. What was once a worry, shouldn't be. What was once, is not now. Its so much more than what she was.
Last August she was in a horrific plane crash with her husband and a friend, the friend did not make it. Her husband was burned 35% of his body, her over 80%. She talked about a lot of the same things as she does now but now her outlook is so much more purposeful. She talks about her kids, her husband with such passion and love, not that she didn't before but now I feel it in every fiber of my skin when I read her words. I think there is something about coming close to death that gives people a sense of self, a sense of who they are and want to be, she is more than that, she is completely different inside and out (literally).
Such as today's posts, it was nothing exciting, but it is exactly how I thought I felt about things until I read her post today. Her son burned his hand, she felt such a compassion for him as I'm sure she did, she layed down in bed with him and started remembering her old life and how much she could accomplish in one day, how well her house would look, all the laundry done, kids happily playing in their clean rooms, floors swept and mopped, and all was "perfect" and then all the sudden her sons ice pack fell from his hand and woke her up from her thoughts and she was laying in bed again with her son and his burnt hand, while her face is disfigured and burned and unrecognizable, her house has toys all over it, beds aren't made, laundry not done, but shes alive and shes laying in her sons bed comforting him, and then she replies with one simple word "perfect".
How does she do it? I look at my house and think oh I need to mop, I haven't made dinner yet, the beds aren't "all" made, the girls' rooms are messy, etc...but then to think yes but I'm alive, and I get to tuck these precious little kids in bed, and I get to comfort them when they are hurt and that is "perfect" or its her perfect now.
I hope and pray that I can look at things through her eyes and realize its the "big" stuff that matters not the typical mundane tasks through out the day, is it more important that my floors are mopped, or that I get to tuck my kids in at night? I don't think I really have to answer that do you?
She continues to humble me. She continues to make me feel so ridiculous for worrying about the things I do. She continues to look at things with such clarity, and makes me want that too. I yearn for her enthusiasm for life, for her passion about simple things.
I crave to do and be better, and not worry about all the nonsense.