Emotional....

I have mixed feelings right now. I go to church with 4 little kids in tow while my husband has to work and 5 minutes into sacrament I find myself wondering why it is I came again? I find myself thinking this alot, and then somewhere deep, deep down I tell myself that I am doing this for them, and that I am teaching them that we still go to church and we still go to learn and renew our sacrament covenants even when we cant hear, and when we spend 90% of our time in the foyer, we still go. I tell myself this, even though I'm pert near tears and so tired from dragging kids in and out and saying no stay there, I believe that I really am doing them good. I don't know if I am doing good or if this is helping me, but I keep doing it.
Ive been very emotional this week for some reason. I have been right there about to cry 50 times but have held back for one reason or another, and I don't know if that's a good thing or bad, maybe if I just cried and got it out Id feel better and then I wouldn't be "close" Id just be done. So many things seem to come up or something sets off the water works. I guess it could be pregnancy related but I just think its female related...LOL.
While I write this in fact I'm near tears Eben has been screaming and crying for 30 minutes and I cant for the life of me figure out whats wrong with him. So Ive just given up and now I'm just letting him cry it out, which seems to be working, maybe he's feeling the way I am.
I have been over come with emotion because I'm going to be leaving for a week to go to Washington D.C. to spend time with my brother in-law and sister in-law, and Aaron's cousin Lis who I adore. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited just lots of anxiety about going for that long and being away from the kids and Aaron. Ive only left for 2 days at a time before. I know it is long over due, and I am looking forward to being there with them and seeing everyone, I cant wait for that...but you know...however, I also know that they are in good hands, Aaron has taken off the whole week I'm gone and is going to be with them, and Grandma Nana has them the first couple nights I'm gone, then Aaron takes over the rest of the time. So....I am lucky. :)
I think I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed, which is weird because it was a pretty good week, not too stressful it was rather nice actually. I guess this is just me, being me and I have to except that no one is perfect and everyone has bad days and everyone gets emotional, and I am that person today. What can I say?